Regardless of your role in the family (father, mother, son, daughter, brother, or sister), you need to do everything in your power to be a good family member.  By concentrating on making yourself the best person you can be, you can singlehandedly be the difference that makes the difference in the family dynamics.

First and foremost, cut everybody some slack.  (Yes, even you control-freaks!) Learn to put up with some of the irritating things that your family does.  Rap music?  Classical? Heavy Metal?  Too loud? Not loud enough?  Just because you have needs doesn’t mean that you get to bully someone.  (That goes for parents and kids!)  We all have needs.  There are lots of ways to deal with this.  Check your attitude at the door. If the music is too loud, negotiate.  Compromise.  Make a deal.  Go where the music isn’t.  Heck, you could even learn to like it!

If your spouse has habits or preferences when it comes to cleanliness (or a lack thereof), start by acknowledging that you have differences.  Don’t expect him or her to change just because you want it so.  And don’t insist on being “right” or superior.  If you want the house to be cleaner, then do it yourself.  Maybe your spouse will catch on to your preference and agree to pitch in.  If he or she doesn’t, don’t turn it into a weapon to beat them with.

Take the time to become closer to your family and get to know them better. Plan family outings, and eat dinner together on a nightly basis.  Keep up with what is going on in the lives of your children and spouse. Take it all to heart, don’t just make empty small talk. Engaging in conversation over things that you find “trivial” may feel like a futile exercise, but by showing personal interest you will create bridges and make a stronger relationship.  And who knows, you may even learn how to care about those “trivial” things because they are important to someone you love.  Build some fun into your work activities, and build some work into your fun activities.

Family life is always something that can be improved.  If you have been having troubles lately, take steps now to prevent things from getting worse.  It may take some effort on your part, but you can get your family back to a healthy point, and from there you can live with your family in happiness and peace.  If you think that things are beyond your ability to act, talk to a family therapist or counselor to get some advice or guidance.

When your family life is not peaceful, disastrous results may be just around the corner.  It’s only common sense.  The possible outcomes include dysfunction, divorce, and trouble with the law, to name a few.   Stress is always a sign that something needs attention.  Click here to find out how to deal with stress.